My Tent~



I have really scaled down my life.  I have moved from a large country house to a moderate town apartment, and I live where I work which is the ultimate convenience.  But I still yearn to simplify my life and have it be completely in sync.  Because I am in the Wilderness, I think a tent is a fitting domicile for me.


This is sort-of what my conceptual tent looks like, but mine would be softer and filled with a couch and comfy blankets instead of chairs.  I see it sitting apart from its neighbors in an arid setting of gently rolling hills and occasional palm and scrub trees.  I have a spring of living water near me, and life is simple here.


Praise you, Alhya, for making us content wherever we are.

The Wilderness

Recently I thought God was bringing me out of my Wilderness.  I planned a 3 day fast (lasted almost two), and prayed fervently that He would either lead me into the Promised Land (you know, the proverbial place Job ended up getting blessed more than before, after he had lost nearly everything dear to him [save for his wife]) on the third day, or that He would wipe my memories clear so that I could go ahead and start my new life unhindered by painful memories of (mainly) unrequited love.  I have been out here wandering around for around 6 or more years, give or take.  I consider my marriage my Egypt, and that lasted around 22.  I didn’t realize it was my captivity until recently, but since I left God to worship my husband, make him my idol, and espouse scientific atheism, I can indeed state that I was a willing captive.


However, when I awoke on Day 2 of this recent fast, God spoke a different word into my mind than I was hoping to hear.  He said I was actually supposed to stay here, IN my wilderness.


I studied about Moses and how Moses went from being an orphaned Hebrew boy to becoming part of the house of pharaoh.  Then Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt by way of the Wilderness which they lived in for 40 years!  Finally, when God had them draw near to the Promised Land, the people grew fearful and doubted God; they doubted themselves to be able to conquer the civilized nations and large people.  So God became frustrated with their unbelief and consigned that generation to die in the wilderness.  So they did.  Moses grew older and older.  He outlived his brother Aaron and his sister Miriam.  But he was so used to surviving and living a hard existence, God knew it was not going to suit Moses to cross over into the Promised Land, and Moses knew this and died gracefully near it, seeing it, but not being allowed by God to enter it.

And did anyone ever stop to contemplate that Moses went from not being able to speak in front of men to composing and singing a song to his whole people before he died!


I was raised in a strange world and craved to escape, but was misled by the enemy not into utopia as I thought, but into a captivity (atheism) I was to stay in for 22 years.  I was led out of my captivity by one of God’s chosen ones, and I began wandering around in my desert loneliness for a long time.  I have become born-again here and resisted temptation here.  I have learned God is greater than a man to me.  I deserve to be blessed with His abundance now, as the Bible tells me.  I have made due penance, or nearly so.


Yet when I think about crossing into the Promised Land where God will bless me abundantly, I cannot contemplate it.  I cannot fathom a world that is not lonely for me, or where I will actually have a Godly partner whom I was made for.  So when God said I was staying here for now, I was okay with that.  I have grown accustomed to the desert.  I like keeping things simple and living in a tent.  I like that the folks around me are struggling just like I am, but in different ways, with their own demons. It is my mission to take up my cross and help those around me in any way God leads me to, and I cannot think of a finer life to live.


I guess if God leads me into the land flowing with milk and honey, and I have the desires of my heart, He will have to do it while I am not looking.  He will have to lead me one blind step at a time that way, so that I will look up and see richness and blessings and comfort beyond measure and know I am already there.


But for now I am glad to remain right here in the wilderness with God.



INTP Profile

I used to think I was an infj, but I took the Myers-Briggs test about a year ago, and I tested as an INTP, though my ‘T’ and ‘P’ were very close.  Part of that testing involves a personal interview to debrief and tease out any inconsistencies that might cause an inaccurate test, but my interview only served to elucidate that I am in fact an INTP, and have been as long as I can remember.


The Good Lord told me I am an INFJ.  I believe that to mean that I was intended to be an INFJ, but because of being an HSP and being adopted into a non-conducive household, my Fe never became developed to the degree necessary for me to manifest as an INFJ.  And instead Ti overpowered my life.


The INTP theoretically uses the following 4 functions, in order of importance:


I use all of these very well, in addition to probably Ni (which might be higher than Ne), but since functions tests are not very comprehensive at this time, it is difficult to know.


This is the best article I have ever read about the INTP personality type:

Coffee Quotes

The ideal cup of coffee should be:

“Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love”. ~Prince Talleyrand (1754-1839)


Give me a man who drinks good, hot, dark, strong coffee for breakfast!

A man who smokes a good, dark, fat cigar after dinner!

You may marry your milk-faddist, or your anti-coffee crank, as you will!

But I know the magic of the coffee pot!

Let me make my Husband’s coffee–and I care not who makes eyes at him!

Give me two matches a day-

One to start the coffee with, at breakfast, and one for his cigar, after dinner!

And I defy all the houris in Christendom to light a new flame in his heart!  ~Helen Rowland, What Every Wife Knows


If this is coffee, please bring me some tea.  But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” ~Abraham Lincoln


A person has the right to complain about the coffee when he finds grounds for it in his cup.


Few things establish a hostess’ reputation more quickly for fine entertaining than the coffee she serves.”


The LORD inspired and led me to put more energy into teaching people about Him and about the path He has for everyone on their journey through life.  While everyone’s life will obviously be different, I believe there are 7 main principles I have discovered through living, prayer, meditation, and suffering that I believe is a GOOD formula for everyone to live life to the fullest and in God’s will.

The Path to Life is what I am calling this new seminar, and I plan to have informative and socially intimate meetings on Saturday nights to explore these 7 principles, and how we can apply them to our individual lives, for the ultimate health, happiness, and well-being of us and our fellow travelers.

Here is a brochure of the course:

Interestingly, God has provided to me the perfect tools to use for teaching these principles in the form of the Bible, Young Living essential oils, and new scientific discoveries about traditional healing.  These combined with my personal testimony of being a divorced mom of five children whom I mostly homeschooled, and experiences from being a midwife and registered nurse for over 20 years–and the testimony and experiences of others–make for a compelling recipe for how we could live our lives in abundance!

My personal testimony, like most others’, is long and convoluted, but despite bad life choices in my younger years, when I invited Jesus Christ to be my personal savior in 2012, He began to make me into a new creation.  It didn’t happen overnight, and it didn’t mean I did not suffer or grieve, but it meant I was breaking free of my strongholds and coming to new life and new ministries in His Love.

And here I am now, embarking on a new mission to help my fellow sisters and brothers and neighbors to live the life God wants to lavish upon us all!  So come join us on Saturday nights as we celebrate being in His grace and mercy and Love.



God’s name we are first introduced to in the Bible is ALHYM.  ALHYM is an all-encompassing name and allows us to understand that God is an infinite entity.  Only an infinite entity could create our universe and the life within it.  ALHYM is sovereign LORD and Master, Supreme Ruler of All.

A study of the very letters of His name reveals the truth of His essence:


A   Aleph the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet.  It is premier and silent, giving honor to that which it proclaims.  A denotes holiness and godliness.

L   Lamed is in the middle of the alphabet and leads us up into God’s realm because the Hebrew letter trails above the line of writing, as God’s domain, Heaven, is above all.

H   Hey is a sound made by gutturally breathing out.  It denotes the breath of God that gives life to all living and breathing souls.  It is located in the middle of God’s name as our breath is located in the middle of us.  Breath is the most fundamental necessity of life, over all other elements.  Without it nothing could live.

Y   Yod is the smallest letter in the Hebrew alphabet.  It is made by beginning with a dot of a pen, or a point.  Nothing is too small for God.  He is in our smallest cell or atom, and He communicates with us on the smallest level–smaller than we can imagine.  He goes after the one lost lamb out of the large flock.  Nothing is too small or too great for our God.

M   Mem is the closing letter of God’s primary name.  It denotes plurality coming at the end so we know God is an infinite Being who is capable of revealing Himself to us in an infinite number of ways, and He has numerous personal names He reveals to us in our relationship with Him.  It means ‘waters’ which is what creation first began as, as His breath hovered over the waters.  Mem at the end of words looks like a box, while at the beginning it is wavy and twisting, like flowing water.  As far as water can flow and seep, there is God containing it all.  All is encompassed by God, the upper waters and the lower waters.

For the Love of Money

Now godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.  ~1 Timothy 6:6-10

My Testimony

Glory to God for His Grace

And I thank my LORD Alyha who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful and true, putting me into the ministry, although I was formerly a blasphemer, a harlot, and a vain woman; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.  And the grace of my Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.  This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.