The Truth of the Trinity

I had a poignant and joyful revelation from the Lord today that the Trinity included the wife of God, more commonly known as Mary.

Just as Jesus is the first of many brethren, and there are many other chosen Sons of God, so are there many other Mary’s, who are in spirit the wife of God Himself.  We are not married to Jesus, as many mistakenly believe in the Catholic faith, but we are married to God the Father.  Of which there is only One.

Jesus knew that Mary was the Holy Spirit of God, whom He also referred to as the Helping Spirit.  There are many places in the Bible where Jesus speaks of the Holy Spirit.  And if your eyes have been opened to this Trinitarian truth, you can see clearly Jesus understands it is referring to His spiritual Mother.

Does it make sense that all essence of the female is kept out of the hierarchy of life and the throne room of Heaven when God was so careful to include female in the very beginning of His story, our Genesis?  God made woman a necessary part of life!  Indeed, Ayshah was the name of the woman God built from Adam’s rib.  The A means she is part of ALHYM, God Almighty.  And after Adam named her Ayshah, he was then also renamed to Aysh.  It does not make sense therefore that all concept of female is left out of the hierarchy of life, or the Holy Trinity, when Eve and Mary are key characters in our Christian roots.

This is why the serpent seduced Eve in the Garden of Eden.  The devil understood that Eve was the closest person to God.  That is also why the devil embodies a transgender spirit and prefers to masquerade as an angel of light, and a female.  The devil knows that Mary is the dearest being to God, she stands on his right side close enough for Him to whisper in her ear.

I believe this is the reason behind why the Book of Esther was the only book of the Bible not kept by the Essenes among their scrolls.  The Book of Esther is not historically accurate and this has caused some contentious debate among scholars as to its authenticity and even canonization.  But when we understand the Book of Esther as a parable it is a fine illustration of the role of God’s wife.  Esther’s Hebrew name was Hadassah which means ‘Myrtle Tree’.  Tree is a symbol of God’s wife throughout the Old Testament.  She is a beautiful orphan who finds herself chosen and becomes married to King Ahaseurus (God).  Her name is changed to Esther.  She is sent to the King as spokesperson to save her people (as a Helping Spirit). And Mordecai (her cousin), is nearly sacrificed and almost hung on a wooden gallows, not unlike a cross.  The Essene’s discomfort with this particular story makes a bit more sense when we consider the meaning behind Esther’s role as God’s wife, the heroine of the story.  The Essenes were made up of men who chose a celibate way of life, and perhaps they were jealous of the idea that God had a wife, and that a female could play a prominent role in Lifes’ tragedies and victories.

The missing female essence in the Trinity is Mary, who is God’s wife.  In the New Testament God touches Mary and she becomes infused with His Spirit so much that she becomes pregnant with His Spirit, His chosen Messiah.  She then bears God’s Son.  The chosen women of God, those with the spiritual name of Mary, are therefore higher than men on earth, and even sons of God, but not higher than God the Father.

The gentiles and Hebrews knew this and they worshiped her in ancient times.  The pagans continue to worship the Asherah pole, the gaia fertility goddess, and other female gods.  Of course, this is idolatrous and sinful.  God does not want His wife worshiped.  He doesn’t even want His wife in the limelight.  He protects His wife fiercely.  But the point is that the Wife of God is real!

Jesus clearly understood Mary was the essence of God’s Holy Spirit by the words he spoke.  And once we understand it, the following verse becomes clear because speaking against the Holy Spirit is like speaking evil of not only your Holy Father, but your Holy Mother as well, a gentle Spirit sent out by God through Jesus who is only meant to help you, guide you, and love you:

And whosoever speaks a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, nor in the world to come.  ~Matthew 12:32

Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is like breaking the fifth commandment in Heaven.


The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.  ~John 14:26

And the fruits of the Spirit are in essence holy feminine attributes:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.  ~Galations 5:22-23

The World Wide Web

Virtual reality is a 3D Simulated World created through technology that makes it feel real.  The three dimensions usually referred to are length, width, and depth.  But we don’t even need the third dimension, depth, for us to get swept away in a fake world, which is swirling all around us, overtaking us, and 99% of people don’t even notice it.

My sister had her birthday yesterday, and though I don’t believe in celebrating birthdays for numerous reasons (see post), I sent her a text telling her ‘Happy Birthday’ and a warm greeting.  We are close so I expected to hear back from her when she got off work, if not sooner.  At bedtime I still had not received a response text from her (and I never did receive one), which I thought odd, but when I checked into Facebook, which I rather loathe, I saw she had posted a lot of stuff, and even posted a gratuitous ‘Thank You’ to all her online friends calling them out for wishing her a Happy Birthday, and various other sentiments.

My sister rarely if ever sees those people.  I rarely see her, but I did make a point to visit her last year in Texas and I stayed with her for a week.  I find it hurtful and strange that she has created this virtual reality for herself whereby she practically lives inside Facebook.  And I know she is not alone.  I know it is a problem for women, and even some men.  Instead of spending her time connecting with me, her sister who actually sends her gifts and travels to see her, she prefers to spend her time interacting superficially with internet personas, people from her past whom she will likely never see again.

I have a problem with that, and it’s called Righteous Indignation.

God does not want us to interact inside the internet.  The devil is the prince of the air and he is doing a great job of lulling the masses to sleep within it.  Like the amortentia love potion from the wizarding world, it intoxicates its victim with whatever his greatest desire is:  friendship, camaraderie, perfection, sex, and even love.  But not real friendship, camaraderie, perfection, sex, or love, fake versions of these.  Just enough reality so you think it is real, but not enough reality to be real.  Not to mix up movie metaphors too much, but it’s like a hologram on Star Trek.  In our ingenious minds which God has given us, we have created an infinite number of intertwining Towers of Babel that extend unto the heavens and beyond in an effort to make a name for ourselves and be known.

The internet is just an elaborate evil hologram of the Tower of Babel we live inside, created by our human minds, aided and abetted by the devil.  God came and demolished the real Tower of Babel before the people could finish it.  He did this by striking the people with different languages so they could not communicate with one another, and scattering them upon the face of the earth.  But man has now, led by the devil, found a way to create his Tower of Babel, and extend it not just up, but out and around and inside everyone’s life, connecting nearly every single being alive.  We have programs to translate any language into our own language so that we can continue to communicate with lands and peoples we never would have in real life.  We call this progress.  We call this good.  But in light of the story of the Tower of Babel, we see that in God’s eyes it really is not good, but evil.

And God is allowing it to happen.  That is another sign that we have lost His loving protection as His people.

Jesus said not to build our house on sand, lest it crumble when the rains come and the winds blow.  But our internet isn’t even built on sand.  It’s built on air.  It’s built on nothing.  The devil is the most cunning entity alive.  Part fallen angel, part serpent, he is privy to men’s desires and the greatest darkness, and he combines the two together mercilessly.  In his hands, this is a dangerous weapon which he uses effectively against man.  He hypnotizes the masses by getting them addicted to the internet and gains control over them.  The world wide web is just that:  a worldly interconnected web for a creepy crawly demon to lurk in the middle of.  Like a spider, he senses minute changes when prey moves in his web and he strikes, paralyzing his victims until they die.

The internet can be a tool for real good.  It can be helpful.  But only to the degree it brings people together in the real world!  The internet ceases to be for good when you spend more time on it than off it, when you spend more time interacting with people whom you will never see than people God sends you in your every day life.  When you get your gratification through someone clicking that they liked your post more than seeking out someone to like, you have to ask yourself if you are not caught in his web.  Do not believe the lie that makes you think you are alive and fulfilled on the internet. The true reality is that you are avoiding life and have fallen asleep:

For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.  For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged.  ~1 Corinthians 11:29-31



Crazy for My Lord

Everyone thinks I am crazy.  My family, my friends, my acquaintances.  I guess because I share the things the Lord tells me and the reaches my mind extends unto.  Admittedly most of those are non-believers.  But even my believer friends think I am somewhat crazy.  My close friend told me she thinks my way, my personality, terrifies people-even my friends.


In some way, I think of it as a compliment.  Many thought Jesus was crazy too, and he is a good one to have similarities to.  Also, the smartest people in history have also been somewhat crazy or eccentric.  And I want to be smart too.

Sometimes in light of these people I wonder if I am slipping down the rabbit hole, but instead of fighting it, I am relishing its cozy confines, and the places it takes me.  If feeling united to God more and more, and hearing Him speaking truth to me and through me makes me crazy, then I will accept that.  Being seen as sane by the world is not a comfort to me anymore.  It reminds me of the verse:

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.  ~1 Corinthians 1:25


If we are out of our mind, it is for God; if we are of sound mind, it is for you.  ~2 Corinthians 5:13

An Apocalypse

I had a dream of America being attacked.  It was some kind of nuclear attack or energy attack that mangled street lights and disabled cars.  There was utter mayhem on the roads as panicking people fled for safety, nearly running each other over, weaving through broken down cars and lost children wandering in the road.

The overall thrust was the need to prepare.  Interestingly, it wasn’t to prepare with prayer or fasting.  But to prepare with water, food, clothing, shelter, and transportation.

And it all happened without any warning.  As I was driving back from the grocery store.

I believe it is an apocalypse from God of real events that will transpire in America.

Final Judgment

This is your last day to repent of your wicked sins against children.

This is your last day to turn and cry out to God for your iniquities.

Enough innocence has been lost and We are done calling to you.  To all of you who hurt children and exploit them.

We have tried 1000 times to call out to you and you have denied Us.


Tomorrow judgment will be passed on you by Him.  The Almighty Righteous Executor of Justice.  Today if you do not turn back to Him and cry out to Him, you will be judged guilty by Him and be sentenced to death.  The same death you have always loved and feared.  It will be applied to all of you who refuse Him and His ways.



Lukewarm Believers

God has been putting the truth of lukewarm believers on my heart of late.  It is a sad fact that most ‘Christians’ today are actually going to hell:

The Narrow Way

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”  ~Matthew 7:13-14

Last night God gave me a revelation of Himself which I will relate as briefly as I can.  Recently I have been swindled out of a lot of money because of a failed business venture of 6 years.  It is a relief it is over, but it was also very difficult as a single, poor mother to lose so much money (which could have helped me to buy a small house to live in with my children).  I have no savings and no hope to get any at this time.  These older Christians who legally swindled me have lucrative resources, a house on the lake, and a large savings account.

As the settlement was being made in the lawyer’s office, God gave me scripture to literally read in front of all those present:  my colleagues, the lawyer, and the old rich Christian couple.  I read about how this past year they should not have been charging us interest because God does not want his people to charge each other interest.  It is a sin.  I also gently suggested that perhaps when this business was finally sold, they could reimburse us some of our lost money.  Everyone present either said nothing when I read the verses relating to this, or scoffed at me.  The old woman scoffed at me and even turned argumentative.  Even though I remained quiet after reading my verses and was pretty unemotional throughout the meeting, and I remained pleasant, she kept returning to the subject defensively, trying to pick a fight with me the whole time while wearing a fake smile.

Once papers were signed and we were swindled out of our investment by these rich people, I had peace.  I had peace because I know my God will take care of me always, and I had peace because I know it is the Lord’s role to exact judgment and apply justice, and it is my role to trust Him fully, and to move on.  I did not know how he would punish these folks, when He would, or if they were even Christians.

Well, it has been a mere two weeks, and I received a text late last night from the old lady saying:

We have had such a tumult of days, worst case was how sick my youngest daughter became over the Holidays then ended up hospitalized this morning.  She has a bad case of pneumonia.”

When I received that text after I was already asleep, my soul rejoiced knowing that my God not only was avenging me, but because justice was served in this case.  I further contemplated that God uses our children to punish us at times, just as He killed Pharaoh’s son when he would not free the Hebrews from the land of Egypt.  I remembered back to my atheistic years when my fourth son was deathly ill and needed hospitalization.  I see now God was punishing me for some unknown sin(s).  I was joyous when my son recovered, and I remember the grace God had for this unbeliever in that time.

So when I received this news of her daughter I fell to my knees in fear of my God.  Because if that is not fearsome, what is?  I then prayed for healing for their daughter, and for their hearts to turn back to the Lord God.  I pray that they, like so many, do not allow wealth and riches to keep them from a greater treasure in Heaven.  And I also pray God lays it on their hearts to make financial amends with me someday.  Because this case has shown me the eerie truth of what Jesus said:

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.  ~Mark 10:25

Are these lukewarm Christians?  I believe so.  I trusted them in the beginning because I believed they were Christians:  they prayed before many meetings, they spoke of God and Jesus, they went to church, and they were kind to the homeless.  I was so surprised to see that when it came to money however, their Christian behavior went out the window.  They behaved like those in the world, out to get all they could get.  No matter what the cost.

Sometimes Christians do not hold money too strongly, but something in the world they do not want to give up.  I spoke to this in the Co-dependence piece earlier.  I believe it is strongholds that make believers lukewarm Christians.  And that lukewarm Christians are not even Christians at all, as Jesus states in Revelation 3:16:

So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.

If we are cold and do not know the Lord, there is still hope for us to be drawn in by the Holy Spirit and know God fully.  If we are hot for God, we are one of the chosen few on route to Heaven.  But being in-between is a very dangerous place to be because those people will be less sensitive to the calling of God.  Therefore He must chastise them to turn them back to His ways.  This is the eternal story of the Israelites.


I finally understand what Co-dependence is.

I understand because I have been living it.  But I did not know that was what it was, because, like many other people, co-dependence has been more common for me in my primary childhood relationships than healthy relating was.  This means that my barometer for ‘normal’ was miscalibrated from my beginning to the point that co-dependence feels more normal for me than healthy relating.  My triggers were set too high for unhealthy relationships and the way they manifest.

Co-depedence is…

Living contrary to what is healthy interdependence because you do not believe deep down that you can live without ‘it’ whatever ‘it’ is.  It might be a person, an idea, a thing, a feeling, an action.  A person can therefore be dependent upon many different entities in this life.  These entities become an idol when they are allowed so much power over us that without them, we feel we cannot exist, when we become dependent upon them.

So co-dependence in its essence is idolatry.  Because we should only be dependent upon God.

Now there are some things we depend upon which represent normal dependence.  Like the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we need to sustain us, and the love we receive from our neighbor and kin.  God provides us all with all these things, sometimes directly from Him and sometimes from Him through others, and He gives them equally to those who believe in Him and those who do not.

But co-dependence occurs when healthy dependence becomes defiled.  Usually this happens during our tenure as children because we have learned in a dysfunctional family that we cannot depend on the normal things of life listed above.  Perhaps our parents loved us with a conditional love, whereby we only felt loved if we did a certain act, or lived a certain way.  We unconsciously learned that we could not depend on our needs always being met, and we learned that if our needs were not met, we would suffer somehow.  The suffering of childhood is more devastating because children are innocent, and because we did not have the capacity to understand why we were suffering.  If we go hungry as adults, it is generally a good thing unless it becomes chronic because God calls us to fast occasionally, and our bodies are not growing anymore, but merely needing enough sustenance to maintain us.  But children that go hungry are going to quickly become malnourished because they are growing.  If we go without love as adults, it forces us to turn to God for support and love, whereas children that have no love fail to thrive, and develop lifelong wounds and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Childhood is a place and time when we need plenty to grow into healthy adults.  Getting a spare amount of something healthy, too much of something unhealthy-or even none-is going to have a deleterious effect upon a young human being.  As adults we can live without things more easily.  We can fast and we can go without as much as we want to or feel led to and that helps us to cling to God, our heavenly Father, and it keeps us from becoming greedy.  But children have different needs than adults.  Most of us as parents understand this.

Sometimes people become parents without the proper knowledge or intuition to understand what a child needs to be healthy, and they cannot overcome their own lack to provide these things.  Their children then go without what they need and maybe have too much of what they do not need.  Their children therefore can become co-dependent upon wrong things and behaviors because they have never known what it feels like to be in a healthy family long enough for it to become a habit of knowing that their proper needs will be met.  Indeed, they will likely not even know what proper needs are.

It isn’t just alcoholism that produces co-dependence but that is usually what we think of in today’s society because Alcoholics Anonymous has identified certain unhealthy adjunct behaviors in those family members of alcoholics and they have drawn attention to it.  But co-dependence can exist in any person(s) who have known chronic amounts of lack in childhood, whether that lack comes from addicted parents, selfish parents, evil parents, pedophilic parents, satanic parents, stingy parents, neglectful parents, or sick parents.  Co-dependence is a disease  that stems from lack.

When we lack something vital as children, we cling to what we can to survive.  Starving children dig up and eat roots (and dirt along with it) when they are starving.  They might eat other people’s leftovers (that are rotten or infested with bacteria or viruses).  Going hungry drives them to eat whatever they can find even if it is sub-optimal, because something is usually better than nothing.  This defiles them.  The same example goes for love.  If a child lacks unconditional love in childhood, the child will seek love out in any form, or accept it in any form, because love is necessary for growth, and well-known animal studies have proven this.  Studies have also shown that being abused is favored by children over being neglected because having something is usually optimal to having nothing.

Unconditional love is necessary for the healthy development of children.  Unconditional love means that a parent loves their child over time independent of their actions or behaviors.  It means that if a child acts out or does something the parents deem wrong, the child will still have its needs of food, clothing, shelter, safety, and love met.  And this occurs over time.  Sometimes a parent will punish a child and the child may go without dinner as a punishment and that will not result in co-dependence.  It must be chronic lack which happens often enough for the child to develop a belief that if they do not adhere to some condition or state of being, they will go without their fundamental needs being met.  This is an unconscious process.  And this is the root of co-dependence.

Co-dependence means we settle for living on the wrong track because we either do not know that a right track exists, or because we get get drawn over onto the wrong track, repetitively.  Something or someone on the wrong track magnetizes us and keeps us there.  In our deep-seated belief system that was laid down mostly in childhood we really believe that without that thing on the wrong track, we will suffer.  And maybe we believe deep down we will even die.  We believe this because as children without our needs being met we likely could have died, and to a child’s undeveloped brain, suffering equates to feelings of death.  Our primitive emotions which are the essence of our feelings, do not understand the difference.  Therefore we function on automatic pilot, letting our false beliefs dictate lifelong practices and actions that might very well be unhealthy.

Co-dependence is very hard to break out of.  This is the reason battered women continue to return to their abusive mate.  This is the reason dysfunctional families cling to each other regardless of how much they hurt each other.  This is probably the reason why children who have been abused continue to abuse as adults.  It is a never-ending loop of dysfunction that blinds you from seeing any other way of existing.  And you unconsciously believe the lie that without this thing, you will suffer and maybe even die.


Of course there is a cure.  And that cure is to become born again in Jesus Christ.  When we are born again we become like a baby and are given a new life, created fresh by God in His image and replacing our unhealthy human family with God and His family.  Our barometer for healthy relationships becomes perfectly recalibrated in Him.

The indwelling of Jesus Christ is the cure-all for any ailment.  The only requirement is to give ourselves fully over to Him.  Halfway will not do it.  Praying once a week will not do it.  It requires willful intentional submission to Him and only Him in our lives.  Deep-seated false or even evil beliefs are very hard to get rid of, but it is possible with God.  God is a jealous God and allows no room for idols between us and Him, because He knows how much as humans we can fall victim to idols.  And this is the very place satan prefers to hide out in our lives and try to rule over us.

We can be truly blind to co-dependence and its rule over us, but God makes those scales fall away from our eyes and we can see anew.  We can see truth.  We want to not only get on the right track, but He helps us to find our way, and to stay on the right track.  Even if it goes against those scared childhood feelings that drive us in a certain habitual and dysfunctional direction, seeking that eternal unconditional love we never knew.  The irony is that we will never find the right track if we follow our self or our own messed up barometer.

We will only find that missing unconditional love in Him~

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.  ~ Jeremiah 31:3

May this train run on God’s tracks forevermore.